My first back scratcher was one of those bent bamboo things. It was OK for a while, but quickly became smooth and worn and saturated with back oil. Then, after misplacing on a couch, it was sat upon and no longer usable.
You can still buy these today, along with multiple mass-manufactured, stamped-out telescoped gismos that just don’t, and will never, scratch like ItchThatBitch.
It was frustration with not having a friendly fingernail
handy that prompted me to create the next best thing. And it is. The big
difference is my back scratcher won’t wear out or die – ever. It bends, but
doesn’t break. It is one of the best backscratchers for sale anywhere.
I have always been interested in things that last. The earliest reason was likely noticing the dates on coins and how some coins were very old but seemed like they would last forever, at least relative to my age at the time. They got thinner and a little harder to read, but never seemed to wear out. Sometime along the way, someone, somewhere decided that if things lasted a long time, there was not a very large replacement market. This was the dawning of planned obsolescence and disposables. In spite of products with lifetime guarantees like Zippo lighters and Orvis fly rods, most durable goods manufacturers opted for not-so-durable goods.
In the last half of the twentieth century, cars were obsolete after three years, along with many other things. In many areas the tide seems to have turned, and automobiles and other products have a much longer life cycle. It's about time. We don’t have to be a society that needs to survive on short-term profits from short-lived disposable goods.
Things, unlike values and principles, can never be timeless, but some things can be made to endure lifetimes, rather than mere years. That’s what ItchThatBitch backscratchers are all about.
That’s why my backscratchers have a lifetime warranty. Like the famous
lighter. But it’s my life or yours, whichever comes first, because it probably
will last as long as dirt. It is the best. It will be a legend. The only
backscratcher with a serial number. This is where to buy the last back scratcher you will ever need. Get it now while I can still make them. You can watch how I make them on YouTube.
Congratulations and thank you for purchasing ItchThatBitch. Your backscratcher is purposely bent to fit in standard USPS packaging. Bend it back like you prefer it for your back. It’s made to bend to fit you, and wherever you itch.
There are many ways to fine tune our backscratcher. We
detune on a high speed grinder after clipping the fingers to make it less
harsh. You can sand or file further to suit your personal sensitivity.
If you snip the finger ends with wire cutters, the scratcher will likely draw blood. We don’t recommend that unless you are into 50 shades of red.
The stainless steel wire of ItchThatBitch will never rust and is dishwasher safe. This is important because it can be handed down to friends or family, in a sanitary manner. Copper trim will turn green or brown, and can be refreshed with any commercial polisher, or just left natural – your back doesn’t really care.
The lifetime warranty is restricted to the maximum of your lifetime or mine, whichever comes first. But, since this backscratcher will likely never wear out, unless you are a granite statue, it doesn’t make much difference.Thanks for your purchase, and enjoy,